Thursday, July 14, 2016


My daughter is getting married next month. Simple ceremony at City Hall, with me and a few close friends attending. Last night, she and her BF headed out to shop for her dress and while they were gone I had one of those flashbacks we ACoNs often have, that make us give our heads a shake and wonder why we couldn't see what was right in front of our faces.

This made me remember that, for as long as I can remember, I had expected to wear my mother's ivory wedding dress but, since I was living with my future husband, which made me "used goods", mother refused to let me wear it. She softened the blow by "generously" offering to buy me another dress. Not the dress I wanted, the dress SHE wanted, so she bought me a knee-length lavender dress. I ACTUALLY thought it was a nice gesture then, on MY big day, my mother showed up wearing WHITE!


  1. Unfreaking believable! To cast aspertions on your character, as if it were 1810 and then attempt to upstage the bride as a paragon of purity! Give me a break!

  2. Good grief, that was inappropriate of your mother. I'm (sadly) not surprised at all though.

    Best wishes to your daughter and her fiancé!

  3. In retrospect, I'm amassed that, back in the day, I didn't recognize the bait and switch of the "generosity" tactic so she could control what I wore. She not only wore white, she got to brag about how much SHE paid for my dress.

  4. That is such a classic CB "Mugger of the Bride" move it's enshrined in the AC Hall of Shame.

  5. TW it'll be no surprise for you to learn that my daughter has chosen to wear black and has asked all in attendance to do the same!

  6. Absolute classic, lol.

    Once you know, it seems so obvious, but I have been caught out many times - once, after having not bought a single item for my new baby - nada, zip - my mother eventually turned up with a dirty baby toy she had picked up off the STREET.

    Yes, I washed that disgusting item, and gave it to the baby - we live and learn, don't we?

  7. Just unbelievable but not unlike my own experience. These narcs just hate it if it's not their plan for you.

  8. Another recent flashback: I named my daughter after my maternal grandmother. When my mother came to see her for the first time she said, "Funny you should name her after your grandmother, she never really liked you. She preferred your brothers".
    This one hit me when I recently found a letter from my grandmother that began: "To my beloved and only granddaughter..." Then she went on to say how excited she was when I was born and she finally had a granddaughter.
    She passed many years before my daughter was born but I'm pretty confident she would have been thrilled with the name I chose.
    BTW "Mommy Dearest" already had two granddaughters and was not happy when I presented her with a third!