"Why isn’t there a commandment to “honor thy children” or at least one
to “not abuse thy children”? The notion that we must honor our parents
causes many people to bury their real feelings and set aside their own
needs in order to have a relationship with people they would otherwise
not associate with. Parents, like anyone else, need to earn respect and
honor, and honoring parents who are negative and abusive is not only
impossible but extremely self-abusive. Perhaps, as with anything else,
honoring our parents starts with honoring ourselves. For many adult
children, honoring themselves means not having anything to do with one
or both of their parents." Beverly Engel
I believe in the fifth commandment in that it is about real parents, we are not to honor evil, ever, and that is very apparent through scripture. To honor something it has to be honorable. That means worthy of honor. I don't give value to mother's evil, it is in enmity of God.
ReplyDeleteHonoring children as an 11th commandment would not have made any difference to our parents. They would have twisted that like they do everything else that is good. But it does say in the Exodus 20:5 that the iniquity of the parents will fall upon their children. Right up to the fourth generation. I think this can only be understood by a person with a conscience. This might be a relative 11th commandment. Her stuff fell on my shoulders, if mother read the scripture and understood and cared, she would have heeded the warning.
Many people ignore the endless verses that warn of reprobates and fleeing the wicked.
ReplyDeleteWell said Beverly.
ReplyDeleteI knew we shouldn't have delegated it to Charlton Heston.
ReplyDeleteThis is my most favorite movies. I always cry at that scene of coming out of Egypt, walking between them pillars, I get goosebumps just even thinking of it.
DeleteThough shalt not stab a parent in the neck with a bic pen. How's that?
ReplyDeleteI honour my children & as a consequence they are wonderful humans. My Flying monkey Mother made contact t'other day, seemed innocent enough, she asked if my kids could go over. I said no. She then asked me out to lunch. Had nice lunch, was completely taken in & as I was leaving she says she'd really like my son to come over for tea as they wanted him to have birthday present. I went along with it before I had a chance to think. I came away so angry with myself. She was only being nice so she could get Narc supply for him. I so dont want my kids round there but am scared if I make a fuss there is more chance of me looking a bitch to my kids who are becoming teenagers, I'm so scared of him getting hooks in. Of course they only see the lovely, fun, love to give u presents face. How right u all r about constantly being sucked back in. I'm gunna have to bite the bullet aren't I? I really don't want them in my life, & I have to come to terms with the fact my mum is not my friend, my mum is there for him & cannot, EVER be trusted & is certainly not capable of respecting my boundaries.my husband says I need to tell her she's over stepped mark but u know what their like, they don't listen, should I send a text, or just ignore calls/texts. I want to block kids mobiles too so they cant contact direct.Fear, obligation, guilt. I wish I could move away, they only live round corner...x
ReplyDeleteNS, If your mum is like my NF, she can only maintain the facade of normality for so long before revealing her true self, especially to family. One day your kids will experience her in all her glory and make their own choices.
DeleteMeanwhile, best policy is to ignore, ignore and ignore some more!
No she's the nice enabler, the old mans the malignant Narc. I've found it hard being mean to her because I've always thought of her as the victim, she loves the kids & they love her, but she isn't respecting my boundaries or hearing me. I feel I've got to be dead mean to get her to back off. Its really hard. The enablers make things very confusing.
ReplyDeleteI thought my mum was a nice enabler/victim of NF. Turns out she was a quietly manipulative narc in her own right. Actually, the more dangerous of the pair because you never saw her coming!
DeleteYes, I have sadly realised this is the case.
ReplyDeleteHave just had text book Narc convo with Mum. Its become so ludicrous I just had to laugh. Have told her to keep the fuck away from my family. It felt bloody good x
ReplyDeleteI was heartbroken by that revelation NS. Sadly, now that she is gone, for me, the truth has been reinforced.
DeleteIf I may be so bold as to propose an eleventh commandment...... Fuck'em
ReplyDeleteThat is a huge flaw in the commandments. Jesus was really hard on people with power and much more sensitive to the sick and poor. So it is a good observation, if Jesus is God.You would think he'd have stuck it in there.Parents have a lot of power over their children. It's scary..
ReplyDeleteThen there is that tree God left in the garden and told the kids not to eat. Kind of like putting poison fruit in the fridge and then casting your kids onto the street for eating it. Who would do that but a narc parent. Just saying.