Tuesday, January 23, 2018


It's with great sadness that I share the news that Q has passed away.

Might seem strange but, even though I never actually met Q, heard his voice or saw his picture, he was in many ways the greatest friend I've ever had. More like a brother than a friend, his daily emails, inappropriate memes, and constant stream of funny YouTube videos kept me going in my darkest hours, including a lengthy and near fatal illness.

Those who followed Q's blog will know that he was haunted by many demons but never lost his sharp wit or crazy sense of humour. I console myself with the knowledge that he is finally and peace and free of pain.

As a Buddhist, I believe the removal of one being from the universe would upset its delicate balance causing chaos in the cosmos. For this reason, no soul is ever truly lost but moves on to exist in another dimension and Q will always live on in the hearts of those who knew and loved him.

Q's sister, will be checking this post now and then. Please feel free to share a memory or funny story about her beloved brother.


  1. My heart is utterly broken that he’s gone. He was one of the best friends I’ve ever had and I’ve missed terribly these last few months while he was in the hospital. He was a bright spot in my day and frequently made me laugh while I was going through the hardest year of my life last year.

    I hope he’s jamming with his favorite rock bands wherever he is.

  2. Deep Sadness. Q's comments were always on target. His insight would cut through fog and garbage quickly getting to the point of what is wrong with a situation. He will be missed.

  3. So sorry to hear this. He was a good friend and got me through some hard times too. He seemed to understand things others could not, because of what he had gone through. I am in tears, so writing is probably crummy right now. It's always hard to lose a friend online or not. I knew about his serious health problems and what he had gone through and glad he doesn't have to be in pain anymore too. I never spoke with or talked to his sister but I always respected her. She stuck by Q and was a loyal and loving sister. Tell her I remember her brother very fondly too. Q's sense of humor and strength will always be remembered and his blog too meant a lot to me and I am sure many others.

    1. Just a heads up Peep. My tracker shows Ms Nasty Bitch trolling your blog too.

  4. To Q's sister - I always enjoyed his presence on the internet, whether on his blog or in comments on others. He was kind and funny, in spite of his obvious pain. I'm so sorry mulderfan that you lost a friend and so sorry Q's sister for your loss as well.

  5. I had a dream about him last night, and he said "get on with living your lives and be happy". That sounds right, like something he would say. He just wanted everyone to be happy and at peace, free to live their lives. thanks for posting this! Q's Sis

  6. Q had a beautiful talent of cutting to the chase in a comment and focusing on the issues that might be the hidden ones. He is truly missed.

  7. Wow, Q would love these beautiful posts. So true, he could cut right through b.s. immediately, lol. He had a very clear vision of what was right or wrong in a situation. Thanks so much for these! Q's Sis

  8. To the person using the server at Mcknight Real Estate in Dallas, who was too stupid to spot the tracker on my blog: Takes a special kind of mean bitch to say something nasty about Q when you know his sister is following this post.
    BTW Google "comment moderation" before you try to post any more garbage.

  9. Anonymous at McKnight Real Estate. Move on. Your comments will never be posted here.

  10. Mulderfan, Upsi,RumblestripQ, Kitty,Kathy Krajco, etc....collectively affirmed that I was not alone in my narcissist experience, when Upsi's blog stopped I looked for mulderfan and other living bloggers who were connected, to Upsi's original posts, to reconnect with the knowledgeable online bloggers, who knew so much more than all of my counseling psychology professors.Today I finally found Mulderfan,since the other bloggers, either wrote they were stopping or they stopped because they passed-away. Thank you Mulderfan, for re-appearing.... for continuing your former-green-background-blog.So sorry to hear about another original blogger's death. RIP, glad you are still with us, I miss Upsi-Upsi "you don't have to dance with them,"her blog was such an incredible resource that answered so many life- long questions. I wish it could be revived. My Narc father recently died too, the step-thing continues his abusive legacy...amateur stuff when compared to postings in your original green back ground blog.- from one of your many anonymous hidden fans- Cooley Scupper

  11. Thanks, Cooley Scupper.
    In my case, the blog had served its purpose and I felt it was healthier to let go and move on. Reliving the abuse just kept that little hamster running on the wheel in my head.
    However, I agree it's validating to discover so many people with similar experiences!

  12. MF -- Q had come to my mind a few times in the last week and after not finding his blog anywhere, I made my way here to find this very sad news. I had to print this post out at work and leave my desk to go sob privately in a conference room, both because Q was such a beloved friend and also just the shock that he's been gone since January and I didn't know. He was a friend to me during the most difficult time of my life, he got me through a dark passage and I will always cherish his friendship, humor, perspective, and incisive ability to cut through the shit and sort things out. He stood up for the downtrodden, the oppressed and abused, he was a brilliant writer and storyteller, he made me laugh and cry. I went back to find the last time we emailed and it was in February 2017, he had said that he's never been better, finally making peace with the hatred and pain of his experiences with his mother and finding joy helping raise his little grandson. Jesus life is so fragile and precious. Although I too have moved forward with my life and shifted into a new chapter, I will always hold dear the community that we made together and the support we found as a rag-tag group of survivors trying to find peace. To Cooley Scupper above, your kind words really touched my heart. It means a lot that the blog meant something to you, thank you for sharing how it helped. Collective group hug. -Upsi