How you know when you're "DONE"

IMO, you know you're done when the FOG (fear, obligation, guilt) lifts completely and you're left with NOTHING...no love, hate, anger, sadness...ZILCH!

No regrets either, that it took a life-threatening illness for me to understand just how toxic my relationships were. When waking up everyday is an awesome surprise, regrets are just wasted head-space.

Kinda like when I'm walking my big-ass German Shepherd and see a stranger coming toward us on the sidewalk and, without a word, nod or smile, I simply cross the street. I feel nothing for the stranger. My only thought is protecting my buddy, who gives me nothing but unconditional love.

Done is a journey but, damn, when you get there it's a great place to be!

FUCK 'EM

11th Commandment?

"Why isn’t there a commandment to “honor thy children” or at least one to “not abuse thy children”? The notion that we must honor our parents causes many people to bury their real feelings and set aside their own needs in order to have a relationship with people they would otherwise not associate with. Parents, like anyone else, need to earn respect and honor, and honoring parents who are negative and abusive is not only impossible but extremely self-abusive. Perhaps, as with anything else, honoring our parents starts with honoring ourselves. For many adult children, honoring themselves means not having anything to do with one or both of their parents." Beverly Engel

 

"You're too bloody sensitive!"~my NFOO

What gave them the right to judge my feelings in the 1st place?

Besides, if they knew I was sensitive and truly loved me,

why didn't they treat me differently?

"Other people don’t get to invalidate your truth. They can disagree with it. They can struggle to understand it. They can carry a truth that conflicts with your own — but they don’t have the authority to tell you what your truth should or shouldn’t be. You feel what you feel and you need what you need. Those things just are. It’s how you’re wired, and it’s okay. Other people can feel and need different things — and their truth is valid in its own right — but it doesn’t discount your own. Your truth comes without judgment. It can’t be wrong because it’s yours. Not theirs; not anyone else’s. It’s yours — and it’s your right to embrace and honor it."

— Daniell Koepke 

Quitting Time?

I quit blogging a while ago because, after three years of NC, I felt blogging has served its therapeutic purpose.

Then, I allowed my mother's impending death to suck me back down the rabbit hole into my NFOO's special version of Crazyland.

In a private Face mail exchange, my long time friend Rev Renee cautioned me against it and even went so far as to warn me that not only would the abuse continue but that it would very likely escalate.
Blogger buddies Q and Tundra Woman gave me similar advice, which I ignored, believing that I was healthy enough to safely climb back out of the darkness if need be.
I couldn't have been more wrong and my stubborn refusal to follow the advice of my friends very nearly cost me my life.
Once again, I turned to these blogs to find support and validation but am beginning to question that decision, as I find myself reliving episodes that are best forgotten and allowing my abusers to once more live rent-free in my head.

When are we DONE?

How do we know we are done?

Are WE ever done?

Are THEY ever done?

 

Idiots!

Our abusers eventually leave us with no choice except to walk away, only to discover they can't live without their favourite doormat.

Go to Walmart, Idiots!

You can pick up a new doormat for less than $10.

FUCK 'EM!

Marcia Sirota

Another pearl of wisdom from Marcia Sirota

 

LOL!

THIS is what happens when a narc "accidentally" stumbles upon their victim's ANONYMOUS blog, then gets outraged when they recognize their own abusive behaviour!

A genuine LOL!