Even though we’ve struggled with the idea of maintaining absolutely no contact, many of us have found out the hard way that leaving the door open even by a sliver is an invitation for our abusers to hoover us back down the rabbit hole into their version of Crazyland. Strict no contact robs them of a chance to manipulate us and is the essential step required to protect ourselves from further abuse.
No contact is the ultimate punishment we can inflict on narcissists, which is one of the reasons they simply cannot let us go! Ignoring narcissists robs them of the chance to devalue and demean us which they desperately need to do in order to maintain THEIR exaggerated sense of worth.
Narcissists' panicked reactions to our sudden indifference will dispel all doubts about the value of no contact for; they will be unable to function without the unhealthy dynamic they've created with us. They label their victims as inferior, while behind the scenes they simply can’t live without our “presence” in THEIR miserable lives, even if that presence is maintained by visiting a blog almost daily, drawing a child-like caricature, repeatedly calling a blocked number or sending an email stupidly admitting their misdeeds.
How empowering for us that, many narcissists, when trying to prove that we are unimportant to them, do just the opposite by revealing how much space we occupy “rent free” in THEIR heads instead of the other way around!
An extended period of no contact eventually turns the tables by making narcissists realize that we find them irrelevant, dispensable and somewhat pathetic. Their punishment is complete when they realize their favourite doormat has simply gotten up off the floor and walked away. (Fortunately for them, new doormats are quite reasonably priced at Walmart.)