My narcissistic father displays these behaviours, in private, for his "loved" ones.
Immediately captivated by his charming demeanor,
outsiders are treated with respect and kindness.
- My NF uses the volume and tone of his voice to establish dominance by yelling, screaming, and raging. His hateful tone reiterates the abusiveness by combining arrogance and superiority. In person, he may employ threatening gestures or body language.
- NF verbally assaults his victims to instill fear, intimidate, manipulate, oppress and constrain. Swearing and threatening language come easily to him.
- The manner of his speech is argumentative and sarcastic. He will frequently interrupt and talk over a person, while bullying and intimidating. Many times the verbal assault will be so unpredictable the victim is caught off guard.
- Mixed in with the assault will be personal attacks such as name calling, defaming character, and dismissing his victim's feelings.
- His self-inflated perception is so skewed that he frequently accuses the victim of making him look stupid. When he "perceives" an attack on his massive ego, he becomes hostile, then often *gaslights his victim by denying the incident took place.
- He is a master of the blame game; insisting the misunderstanding is his victim’s fault.
- He accuses the victim of lying, being too sensitive, and overreacting.
- During one of NF's rages, my enabling mother's role was to sit quietly, nodding in tacit agreement. Following the confrontation, she often chided the victim for "upsetting" NF or suggested the victim apologize. Later, she supported NF's gaslighting by either insisting the incident never took place or was being exaggerated.
a form of mental abuse in which false information is presented with the intent
of making victims doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity