Tuesday, August 25, 2015

My narcissitic father

My narcissistic father displays these behaviours, in private, for his "loved" ones.
Immediately captivated by his charming demeanor,
outsiders are treated with respect and kindness.
  • My NF uses the volume and tone of his voice to establish dominance by yelling, screaming, and raging. His hateful tone reiterates the abusiveness by combining arrogance and superiority. In person, he may employ threatening gestures or body language.
  • NF verbally assaults his victims to instill fear, intimidate, manipulate, oppress and constrain. Swearing and threatening language come easily to him.
  • The manner of his speech is argumentative and sarcastic. He will frequently interrupt and talk over a person, while bullying and intimidating. Many times the verbal assault will be so unpredictable the victim is caught off guard.
  • Mixed in with the assault will be personal attacks such as name calling, defaming character, and dismissing his victim's feelings.
  • His self-inflated perception is so skewed that he frequently accuses the victim of making him look stupid. When he "perceives" an attack on his massive ego, he becomes hostile, then often *gaslights his victim by denying the incident took place.
  • He is a master of the blame game; insisting the misunderstanding is his victim’s fault.
  • He accuses the victim of lying, being too sensitive, and overreacting.
  • During one of NF's rages, my enabling mother's role was to sit quietly, nodding in tacit agreement. Following the confrontation, she often chided the victim for "upsetting" NF or suggested the victim apologize. Later, she supported NF's gaslighting by either insisting the incident never took place or was being exaggerated.
 a form of mental abuse in which false information is presented with the intent
of making victims doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity


  1. Your father sounds psycho. I wonder how we even survived. If I even hear someone raise their voice, I'm ready to run for the hills. At the very least, I get incredibly nervous, and its debilitating for me. This is why I became prey to the world.

  2. This behaviour was absolutely terrifying when I was a child who depended on him for my very existence. I think the unpredictability was the worst part!
    Not sure why, the most recent attack via phone left me shaken and crying. In reality he no longer has any hold over me unless I allow it. This is why, right now, I'm so pissed with MYSELF!
    Unbelievable as it may seem, I just had another pathetic "call back" VM from him!

    1. I think we all get pissed with ourselves, I am angry with myself for even being born to her. I know that isn't realistic, I mean I would have followed a chicken if I thought it was my mother. A chicken would have been better actually.

      It must be hard to shake them when contact has started up again, I mean they won't give up right away.

    2. I always find it hard to understand why they are so damned determined to have a "loser" like me back in their lives! But then again, I'm the only one left with a functioning brain AND, more importantly, a car.

    3. Re: "I always find it hard to understand why they are so damned determined to have back in their lives..."

      The predator needs the prey.
      The prey doesn't "need" the predator.

  3. I want to exhume that slag I called a mother and have them together for a cage match. Just make sure you pat my mother down for small arms and sharp objects before you let her in.

  4. Can you block the phone calls? I was able through my phone provider for a very small fee to block up to 25 numbers: Works for me! Life is far more peaceful without chronic phone calls from crazies.

    1. Work in progress, TW. The place where he lives has about four different lines. Annoyingly, the # still shows on call ring, can't leave a VM but a reminder that they still "care"!